The Opposite of Lonely
by Dusty
Summary: Max comes to a realization. M/A non-explicit sex. (A 4th chapter! 1-27-02)
1. The Opposite of Lonely

Title: "The Opposite of Lonely"  
Author: Dusty  
Rating: R   
Summary: Max realizes something. Another Alec POV.  
Disclaimer: Me no own. James Cameron do. Please no sue. Also, the song quote is from "Shameless" by Ani DiFranco.  
Feedback: It's the food of the Gods! Although if you want to give me Jensen Ackles' phone number instead, I'm cool with that.  
  
Author's Note: After the events of "Gill Girl" Max decides to follow through on her threat to put a stop to this thing with her and Logan. Finally.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"If I had any sense  
I guess I'd fear this  
I guess I'd keep it down  
So no one would hear this  
I guess I'd shut my mouth   
And re-think a minute  
But I can't shut it now  
Cuz there's something in it"  
  
--Ani DiFranco, "Shameless"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I scan the crowd in Crash for her again. I still don't see her and I start to worry. Tonight is the first time she's seen Logan since she called things off after the Great Chicken Pox Scare of 2020 a month and a half ago. She's talked to him on the phone and stuff before now, of course, so it's not like they've got any catching up to do, so the only reasons I can figure for her not showing up on time are that her little intelligence gathering mission for Eyes Only went wrong, something happened and she accidentally touched him, or she's off moping and doesn't want company. None of these options appeal to me. I doubt it's the first one, though. If something went wrong, Logan would have called me by now. If it's the second one, then she's going to be wallowing in guilt. Probably for the rest of her life, knowing Max. I'd feel kinda bad too. Logan's an okay guy. And if it's the third option, well....  
  
I sigh and head toward the bar to get another beer. While I wait for it, I take in the scene around me. People everywhere. A hundred conversations going at once. Laughing. Booze. Singing. Smiles. Pool. Smoke. A few tears.  
  
This is the opposite of Manticore.  
  
She walks through the door and starts looking around for me just as my beer arrives. I order a second one, figuring she's going to be all depressed. Finally she spots me, strides over, and drops down onto the stool next to me at the bar. I don't say anything, just push her beer toward her.  
  
"Thanks," she says with a big smile. I guess I must not hide my surprise very well, because she laughs.  
  
"Who are you, and where the hell is Max?" I say, only half joking. Maybe she's already drunk. "Seriously though, I thought you'd be all upset. I mean, for weeks it was nothing but 'Logan blah blah virus blah blah doomed blah never be normal blah blah blah blah blah.' Now you finally saw him again and not only are you not crying all over Original Cindy, but you actually smiled at me."  
  
"Well, time heals all wounds, I guess," she says with a one-shouldered shrug. "I mean, I'm still not happy about it or anything, it's just...I don't know. I think I've finally accepted it. Besides, I've been keeping pretty busy lately." There's that smile again. Hm. "Anyway, how about we head out of here. I need to get out of these clothes. It's all good when I'm in Break and Enter Mode, but now they're just too hot. Your place is closer," she says as she slings the strap of her bag over her shoulder. I assume she has a change of clothes in there. If she doesn't, I'm okay with that too. I down the last of my beer and follow her out to her motorcycle.  
  
We manage to make it back to my crap ass apartment without being shot at or attacked. The place isn't exactly Fogle Towers. Someone screams outside and she glances out the dirty window.  
  
"How can you stand to live in this neighborhood? Especially all alone," she said. She actually looks a little concerned.  
  
"Oh, I'm not all alone," I say. Her eyebrows shoot up. "Yeah, I've got roommates. Interestingly enough, they're not X-series, but they do have numbers. .22, .44, 9 millimeter...."  
  
"That is *so* you," she says with a slight smile.  
  
I shrug. "Yeah, this is me alright."  
  
This is the opposite of Logan.  
  
She rolls her eyes and takes her bag into my room, shutting the door behind her. I wait about five minutes until the rustling sounds stop. I pick up a bottle from the coffee table and walk over to the door. Knock knock.  
  
"Is it okay to come in now?" I ask, then open the door when I hear her muffled affirmative.  
  
I stop dead in my tracks. She's standing there in nothing but her bra and panties. Her plain, powder blue, cotton underwear that seems about a hundred times more sexy than the black lace I was expecting.   
  
"What's that?" She points to the bottle in my hand. She takes a step closer.  
  
"What? Oh. It's tryptophan. I came across a guy who somehow got his hands on some, and I don't really get the shakes, but I know you do so I--what the hell are you doing?" The whole time I was talking, she kept coming toward me. The room is barely big enough for my bed, so she's right in front of me now. If I puff out my chest it would touch hers.   
  
"Nothing," she answers with a guileless expression. Then she tilts her head slightly and looks up at me through her eyelashes.  
  
This is the opposite of innocent.  
  
Okay, moment of panic over. I step sideways and then away from her. I can't let her do this. She must be more upset about Logan than she let on. Or maybe she really is drunk after all. She sighs and shoots me an annoyed look. That's more like it.  
  
"Alec, it's okay," she tells me, then takes a big breath. "The whole reason I was late getting to Crash tonight was because I was thinking. I didn't get upset about being around Logan like I was sure I would. So after I finished up the job, I rode around on my bike for a while. Thinking. And I finally figured out it was because of you. Ever since Logan and I split, you've been there. Even if you were doing nothing but pissing me off or getting into trouble, you were there and you took my mind off him. And then...I don't know. You got a little less annoying or something and I actually liked being around you. And, you know, things just changed. So when I got here and I realized I forgot my change of clothes tonight, I just figured what the hell. Now's as good a time as any, right? And...don't you want me?" She trails off and looks at me with those big brown eyes and I say the only thing I can think.  
  
"Oh god yes," I answer, barely above a whisper. "I just...I just don't want you to hate me in the morning. I don't want you to hate yourself in the morning."  
  
This is the opposite of hate.  
  
She takes three slow steps over to me and puts her hands on either side of my face. My arms go around her waist, pulling her against me, and she feels so small. But then our lips touch and that feeling goes away. She just feels very real. Like the only real thing in the room.   
  
And it's all so intense. As if until this point, all my senses had been set to 5, and now she's just reached over and turned them up to 10. But the only thing they can sense is her. Her scent is making me light headed, so I move us onto the bed before I fall down. When I look at her, the colors are so intense I swear they leave after-images on my retinas. But those are quickly forgotten when I roll on top of her, our clothes no longer separating us. The heat of her body against mine is searing. And compared to her skin, the sheets underneath us are like sandpaper. The sound of her breathing and moaning completely drown out the sounds of sporadic gunfire and police sirens wailing past outside. She drags her fingernails across my back and they feel like razor blades. That's okay, it feels good. Don't stop. Eventually, she closes her eyes and arches under me, drawing a breath in between her teeth and letting it back out again with a loud moan. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard, even if it does leave my sensitive ears ringing.  
  
"Alec."  
  
One soft word, my name. That's all it takes to push me over the edge and it's so overpowering I have to fight to keep from blacking out.  
  
This is the opposite of hell.  
  
Totally the opposite.   
  
I stare at the ceiling for almost a full minute, trying to catch my breath and let my senses return to normal. When I look over at her she's already asleep. She's laying on her side, facing me, so I turn over on my side and move closer until our noses are only about three inches apart. There is no way I'm going to be able to sleep after that. But that's okay. I'd rather study her face anyway. Especially since it just occurred to me I've never seen her sleep.  
  
An hour later she wakes up. My heart completely stops beating as she looks at me blankly and blinks her eyes a few times. But then she smiles and stretches her arm out across me, and caresses my back. The thump my heart makes as it starts beating again is painful, but I don't even notice because she's moving closer and snuggling her head under my chin.  
  
This is the opposite of what I expected.  
  
This is the opposite of my life up to now.  
  
This is the opposite of lonely.  
  
  
End.  
  
A/N: This is dedicated to pari106, who requested a happy story. This is the opposite of angst ;)  
  
A/N part deux: Okay, so unless you count school essays, this is the only thing I have ever written that isn't chock full of angst. Should I do it again or stick to what I know? 


	2. Shameless

Title: Shameless  
Author: Dusty  
Rating: PG-13  
Description: Max's POV Companion to "The Opposite of Lonely"  
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own either Max or Alec. Although believe it or not, I do own Brin (aka Nicole Bilderback). It says so right in the www.mightybigtv.com "Celebs We Want" thread. Oh yeah, and the title and quote at the beginning are from the song "Shameless" by Ani DiFranco.  
  
A/N: As much as I love getting inside Alec's pretty little head, I thought it would be interesting to do something from Max's POV. And since I've gotten such overwhelmingly positive feedback so far, I couldn't stop myself. So if this sucks, you have only yourselves to blame. Thank you drive thru.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"I cannot name this  
I cannot explain this  
And I really don't want to  
Just call me shameless."  
  
--Ani DiFranco, "Shameless"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I don't sleep much. But when I do it usually takes me a few seconds to re-orient myself when I wake up. It's that feeling some people get when they wake up in places they're not used to. That slightly panicked, confused, where-the-hell-am-I moment before they suddenly remember. Well, that's what it's like for me every single time. This time when I wake up, I'm face to face with Alec, and as usual it takes me a few seconds to remember why that is. And from the expression on his face it's freaking him out for some reason.  
  
He looks like a spanked puppy.  
  
If I wasn't so drowsy this would make me laugh. Right now all I can manage is a smile. I move over, right up against him and caress his back. Caress the welts left by my fingernails. His hand is tangled in my hair. That reminds me of yesterday morning.  
  
I flash to morning. My brush is tangled in my hair. I was so busy thinking about the meeting with Logan I was getting ready for, I lost track of what my hand was doing. Shit. I sigh and begin the painstakingly slow process of extricating my hair from the bristles, one strand at a time. Logan. I called it off between us about six weeks ago. To keep him from dying. To keep myself from wanting to.   
  
The first week it was a struggle just to move my ass off the couch. Alec usually had to make me. That's the only reason I kept my job. The second week it was a struggle to keep from bursting into tears in public. Alec usually said something to piss me off. That's the only reason I kept my dignity. The third week it was a struggle just to carry on a conversation. Alec usually ignored me. That's the only reason I kept my temper. The fourth week it was a struggle just to watch Eyes Only broadcasts on TV. Alec usually told me the highlights. That's the only reason I kept up to date. The fifth week it was a struggle not to hit him too hard when he teased me about Logan. Alec usually flinched big and pretended to be in pain after the first punch. That's the only reason I didn't break his nose. The sixth week it was a struggle not to laugh when he teased me about Logan. Alec. That reminds me of where I am right now.  
  
I flash to now. I could stay there all day, just laying there. Breathing him in. He smells like soap and sweat and sex. And me. I can smell myself all over him. I glance at the clock to see what time it is and immediately wish I hadn't. We can't stay here. Work starts in a little over two hours. We should get showers. Assuming this dump even has running water. I'm about to suggest we get a move on, but when my eyes meet his, I pause.  
  
He looks like he wants to say something.  
  
He opens his mouth slightly, but then closes it again with a barely perceptible shake of his head.   
  
"Hey," he says instead. His hand is reaching for my hair again, but it stops short. That reminds me of Logan before I left last night.  
  
I flash to last night. I'm sitting in Logan's penthouse. I've given him the files. Told him all the details of the relatively uneventful break and enter I pulled to get them. I told him I had to go. Had to go meet Alec, but I haven't left yet. I can tell he's got questions. I'm waiting for him to spit them out, but at the same time I'm willing him not to. I don't have the answers he wants. I don't have any answers at all. All I know is, I'm okay. I've been sitting with him and talking to him for hours. Logan. And I'm okay, even with this odd little feeling in my chest. It's not uncomfortable, but it's noticeable. It's way too dull to be longing, and it aches a little too much to be nostalgia. Also, I'm anxious. Anxious about Alec. I want to hurry up and get to Crash. And I don't know why. I just saw him a couple hours ago at work. And it's not like we're planning on doing anything special. Just hanging out. Drinking. Playing pool. Stuff we do all the time.  
  
Logan reaches out. To touch my face or my hair. Or my hand. But he stops short when he remembers. He opens his mouth to ask for answers I can't give.  
  
"Have a good time," he says instead. I smile and say I will. Then I leave to go meet him. Alec. That reminds me of where I am right now.  
  
I flash to now. I sit up and so does he.   
  
"We should get ready to go or we'll be late. Nothing like Normal screamin' at us first thing in the morning to ruin my good mood," I say and reluctantly leave the nice warm bed. Leave his nice warm body. I start picking my clothes up off the floor where I left them and I can feel his eyes on me. I look over my shoulder at him and except for his eyes, he's sitting completely still, leaning back against the headboard.  
  
He looks like a statue.  
  
"Enjoying the view?" I ask and strike a flirtatious pose. He shrugs.  
  
"It's okay," he says, not even trying to hide his smile. He gets up, walks over, and looks at me for a moment before leaning in for a feather soft kiss. His hand is on my hip. That reminds me of the motorcycle ride over here last night.  
  
I flash to last night. My mind is completely blank. I'm not used to this. Usually when I ride my bike it helps me concentrate. I can concentrate on working out a problem or I can concentrate on forgetting a problem exists. Either way, it gets my mind going. But I can't, with him so close. With his hands on my hips. And this just confirms the conclusion I came to while riding around before I showed up at Crash. I've got...something...for Alec. I don't know what, exactly. All I know is, I want to find out. And I'm not going to make the same mistake I made with Logan. I'm not going to deny it. I'm not going to over-analyze it. I've got to take the initiative. I've got to be shameless. That reminds me of where I am right now.  
  
I flash to now. I look around for my other boot while he goes on and on about how we should leave a little early so I can stop by my place on the way to Jam Pony to pick up new clothes because it probably wouldn't be a good idea to wear my cat burglar suit, which is all I have with me.   
  
"And I'm leaving you for Sketchy," he says. He thinks I've been ignoring him.  
  
"I was listening, Alec. I wanted to stop by there anyway. Original Cindy gets worried when I don't come home like I'm supposed to, what with all the shit that's been going down lately. And it's easier to explain without the audience at work," I tell him. I finally locate my other boot and turn to leave the room and go take a shower.  
  
"Besides, if you left me for Sketchy, I'd be forced to kill him. I have no intention of giving you up just yet," I say and shoot him a wink over my shoulder.  
  
He looks pleased.  
  
  
End.  
  
A/N - Yeesh! I think this turned out okay, but it was a bitch and a half to write. I don't think Max likes me too much, you guys. 


	3. In A Room Without A Door

Title: "In A Room Without A Door"  
Author: Dusty  
Rating: R (actually, it's probably only a PG-13, but I'm playing it safe)  
Summary: Max has to make a choice. Alec POV  
Disclaimer: Alas, I do not own any of these lovely characters. James Cameron can try to sue me if he wants, but unless he likes The Mr. T Experience, epic fantasy books, or dirty kitty litter, he's not going to get anything.  
Feedback: It gives me a happy!  
  
Author's Note: I thought I got all this out of my system, but apparently I was wrong. Hm. If this isn't as good as the last two chapters, please tell me so I won't completely fuck up this story line. Also, this is another Alec POV, since Max was such a bitch to me the last time I tried to write for her.  
  
A/N, act II: If anyone cares, I went back and changed the song quote at the beginning of the first chapter. I've decided to make them all Ani DiFranco-themed. The old one didn't fit, anyway. I'm not even sure why I chose it. Insomnia makes you do the wacky, I guess.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"They're gonna be mad at us  
They're gonna be mad at me and you  
They're gonna be mad at us  
And all the things we wanna do"  
  
--Ani DiFranco, "Shameless"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Right now I'm sprawled out across my bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to the water run in the shower. She left the bed ten minutes ago. I have to remind myself to breathe. What is it about her? I've known her less than a year and she's turned my life upside down three times already. Turned my life upside down twice in less than a week, in fact.   
  
The first time she did it with a single keystroke. Pushed the "enter" key on Logan's computer and put an end to everything I'd ever known. I had thought my life would be missions and orders and maneuvers. I was wrong. Standing on that hill, watching Manticore burn, I was filled with indignation. And a little admiration. I had to remind myself to breathe.  
  
But I went on without missing a beat. I got myself a car, cash, and companionship in less than a day. Planned to spend my immediate future getting the feel of life on the outside and scraping some money together. I didn't think much about her, until she showed up again. Max came crashing back into my life with a scowl and a wounded X6, and if I was being completely honest with myself, I'd admit I was somewhat pleased.  
  
Right now I hear the water cut off and the shower curtain draw back. I stare at the ceiling in silence until she slips back through the door. She leans down to collect her boots from the floor where we discarded them last night, her wet hair falling to obscure her face. She turns to leave, but pauses by the door and looks back at me. Neither of us speak. There's nothing to say. She made her choice and we both know it.  
  
The second time she did it with a kiss. Pressed her lips to mine and put an end to everything I thought I'd known about her. I had thought she would never be more than my ally and coworker and friend. I was wrong. Standing in this room, with her in my arms, I was filled with confusion. And a lot of admiration. I had to remind myself to breathe.  
  
But I went on without missing a beat. I returned Original Cindy's knowing smirk with one of my own at Jam Pony the next day. Planned to spend my immediate future with Max and let everyone know she's off limits now as subtly as possible. I thought about tacking up an announcement on the employee message board at work, but somehow I doubted she'd appreciate that. I didn't think about much besides her, until he showed up again. Logan came back into my life at Crash, wandering through the door with his exoskeleton and Asha. He said he had something to show Max, and she should stop by later, and if I was being completely honest with myself, I'd admit I was somewhat less than pleased.  
  
But I found it hard to stay in that sort of mood for long, especially when we're zooming down the mostly deserted streets of Seattle, headed back to my apartment. Back to my apartment after we swing by Logan's, that is. I let one of my hands stray from her hips, to trace designs on the inside of her thigh. I couldn't help smirking into her hair as our speed suddenly increased from Breakneck to Just-About-To-Break-The-Sound-Barrier, and in no time we were at Fogle Towers.   
  
Right now I hear her close the front door behind her. I stare at the ceiling in silence until I can't hear her footsteps in the hall anymore. Then I make myself get up. After all, I still have to go to work.  
  
There were no clues on the elevator ride up to the penthouse. No signs when we walked in without knocking that she was going to turn both my and Logan's worlds upside down. Though from the look on Logan's face, I was not expected. Or welcome. Like I care. But all that was forgotten when he revealed what he wanted to show her. The cure. He had the cure for the virus that kept them from touching.  
  
This time she did it with a look. Flicked her eyes to mine and put an end to everything we thought we'd known about her. We had thought he was her first choice. And the one she was meant to be with. And the one she would be with if she could. We were wrong. Standing in that penthouse, Logan watching us both, I was filled with disbelief. And a little bit of relief. Remember to breathe, Logan.  
  
But I went on without missing a beat. I helped inject her with the cure, then took her back to my place for a little celebrating. I plan to spend my immediate future at work, and if I was being completely honest with myself, I'd admit I am somewhat pleased. After all, my girlfriend's there.  
  
  
End.  
  
Feedback, Mr. T Experience bootlegs, and pixie stix are all great ways of showing your appreciation. 


	4. One

Title: "One"  
Author: Dusty  
Rated: PG-13  
Disclaimer: All your Dark Angel characters are belong to us! Well, in an alternate universe I do, in fact, own these characters. In this universe, not so much.  
Summary: Oh dear Gods. Another Max POV. Kind of her take on the events of "In A Room Without A Door."  
  
Author's Note: I had no intention of doing a fourth chapter (hell, I didn't even intend to do a second one!), but it seems my Muse will not leave me alone until I either completely screw up this story or run out of lyrics to "Shameless."  
  
A/N: The Next Generation: To Vee017: Sorry for the confusion! The kiss Alec talked about in the last chapter referred to the first chapter where Max put the moves on him. Logan found out when...well, just read on.  
  
A million bazillion thanks to all the wonderful people who have read and reviewed. You're all so sweet!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Just please don't name this  
Please don't explain this  
Just blame it all on me  
Just say I was shameless  
Say I couldn't slow it down  
Let alone stop it  
And say you just hung around  
Cuz you couldn't top it"  
  
-- Ani DiFranco, "Shameless"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Two in the afternoon. The clock ticked over the same slow way it always does, but it changed the feeling I've had slightly. Changed it from the feeling that something major was going to happen today into the feeling that the countdown has officially begun. Well, it's two in the afternoon, so that's ten hours left in the day.  
  
10.  
  
My eyes trail down from the clock behind Normal's desk to Alec, who's standing there waiting for his next delivery. He turns his head to the side and catches me staring at him for the third time today. He gives me a cocky grin. I give him the finger. His grin widens and he strides across the room toward me. I turn and start digging around in my locker. The trick is to look disinterested.  
  
"Now now, Maxie. None of that. It's not work place appropriate," he says as he leans against the locker next to mine. He's totally invading my personal space. Ask me if I care.  
  
"Oh, and dating your coworker is?" I shoot back at him.  
  
"'Dating?' Is that what we're doing?" he asks, his tone still amused.  
  
"Does it matter what we call it?" I shrug. He doesn't answer, but leans over and kisses me. He kisses me the same intense way he always does, but it changed the belief I've had slightly. Changed it from the belief that defining our relationship is unimportant into the belief that defining our relationship is important to him. All that because of a nine second kiss.  
  
9.  
  
"Doesn't matter to me as long as I'm getting laid," he lies. His hand trails down from the back of my neck to the top of my jeans. I shove him away before he can unbutton them.   
  
"Now who's being work place inappropriate?" I snap. The trick is to look annoyed. But ask me if I care. No really, ask me.  
  
"Alec!" Normal bellows out as he comes wandering back to his desk, packages in hand. "Rush delivery to 1407 Cedar. Wave bye bye to Max and get a move on!" Alec waves at me. I roll my eyes at him. "And as for you, missy miss," Normal continues at top volume, "these six right here are headed to Sector Eight. Now bip!"  
  
Normal loaded us down with packages and chased us out the same annoying way he always does, but it changed the belief I'd had slightly. Changed it from the belief that Alec was Normal's Golden Boy into the belief that maybe Alec was starting to fall from grace. After all, we were both standing right there, yet Alec got the rush delivery way the hell over in Sector Twelve. In the rain. And I only have to go as far as Sector Eight.  
  
8.  
  
Though in the cold Seattle rain, Sector Eight sure feels like a long way to go. Even if I am totally preoccupied. What exactly is my relationship with Alec? A two-member Manticore survivors support group, plus sex? 'Cold' isn't exactly the word I'm looking for, but it'll do. Friends with benefits? 'Trite' isn't exactly the term I'd use, but it's the first one that comes to mind. Lovers? 'Something more' isn't quite the phrase I want, but it's close enough. I stop my bike so fast I almost flip over my handlebars. I'd been so deep in thought I had completely passed the house for my first delivery and nearly rode right out into traffic. On Seventh Avenue.  
  
7.  
  
Last delivery. I walk up the path to the house, thanking my lucky stars I'm almost done. Twice I've almost been hit by cars, once I crashed into a gate and once I rode four blocks beyond the target house. All because one little kiss sent my head spinning. I wonder if he knows what he does to me. Does he know how he can send shivers down my spine with his casual caresses? Does he know how he can turn my bad moods around with his smiles? Does he know how he can block out the rest of the world with his kisses? He probably does. He probably does it on purpose. But ask me if I care. Somehow I manage to pull my attention back to the task at hand. A smile and a signature and delivery number six is done.  
  
6.  
  
I drag my soaking wet ass back into Jam Pony right in the middle of an argument. Sketchy is yelling something about his watch saying it is two minutes past seven and Normal is yelling back at him about how only the clock on the wall counts. Original Cindy fills me in on the details as everyone else except Alec, and of course Normal and Sketchy who are still fighting, scurry out the door. Someone called for a late pick up and Normal wants Sketchy to go get it. Sketchy wants to go get drunk at Crash. OC wants to go meet her new girl at Crash. From the looks Alec keeps shooting me, he wants to go have sex. Not necessarily at Crash. Me? I want to go relax a bit at Crash first. Finally Normal gives in, mumbles something about us all being lazy little brats and how if he had any sense he'd fire us, and the five of us leave.  
  
5.  
  
At Crash, the booze is cheap, the music is bad, but you can't beat the company. The four of us claim our table and we send Sketchy to forage for beer. This is just what I need. Laughing with Sketchy as he tells us the latest dirty joke he's picked up and scanning the crowd for OC's girl, I can almost forget about my preoccupation with Alec. Can almost forget, until he presses his knee against mine under the table. Can almost forget until his hand brushes my arm as he reaches for the pitcher. Can almost forget until his soft sigh hits my ear. I pointedly ignore him. The trick is to look unaffected.   
  
But I am affected. And before I can stop myself, I say I'm going to the bathroom and shoot Alec a Look that tells him to follow me. And for the next ten minutes, in the back hallway of Crash, the rest of the world is forgotten and all that exists is our four lips.  
  
4.  
  
But eventually we had to rejoin our friends. Original Cindy wasn't fooled by our excuses, but Sketchy was too drunk to catch on by this point. Eventually, OC's girl shows up and drags her away from our table for a game of pool. Then, to my surprise, Logan and Asha show up. Asha drags Sketchy up from the table and over to the bar to buy yet another pitcher of beer, as if he needs more to drink. Alec claims he has enough beer, so he stays at the table.  
  
Logan tells me he has something to show me and asks if I'll stop by later. He asks me in the same calm way he always does, but it changed the feeling I've had slightly. Changed it from the feeling that he only wants me to come over because of Eyes Only business because it's too painful to see me into the feeling that he wants me to come over for strictly personal reasons. I tell him I'll come by after we're done here.  
  
Alec's finger trails down the side of his glass into the little ring of moisture underneath it on the table. He raises one eyebrow at me. I raise both of mine at him. The three of us sit in silence.  
  
3.  
  
After a few more beers, Asha and Logan split. A few more beers after that, Sketchy passes out. Original Cindy and her girl are long gone. Alec sets his empty glass down with a loud thunk and looks expectantly at me. I nod and we head out to my motorcycle. We're still several blocks from Fogle Towers when I feel Alec's hand leave my hip. Does he know how he can turn me on just by trailing his fingers down my inner thigh? I know he does. I know he's doing it on purpose.   
  
Finally we get to Fogle Towers. The entire elevator ride up to the penthouse is torture. Alec is tracing circles on my lower back and his breath is tickling my ear. He knows what he's doing to me. But my mood immediately shifts to tense as soon as we walk in Logan's door. Something's up. I can tell the countdown is almost over. Logan looks over my shoulder, and I can tell he's not happy to see Alec here. At this point, ask me if I care.  
  
The cure. For the virus. Logan has it. I'm staring at him as he explains how he's been in contact with some ex-Manticore doctors. I'm staring at him as he explains how he didn't tell me because he didn't want to get my hopes up. I'm staring at him as the countdown stalls at two.  
  
Two men. Two possible choices. Two futures. Two sets of two eyes on me.  
  
2.  
  
But then I look at Alec. I look at him and the countdown gets kick started again. One man. I know which one. Does he know? But then his lips part slightly and his eyes turn disbelieving and I know he does. We both look back to Logan.  
  
"Max?" Logan asks, confused and slightly apprehensive.  
  
He's staring at me while I explain that I'll take the cure so I can work with him and hang out with him without being afraid of killing him. He's staring at me while I explain that I'll take the cure, but I can't be with him. He's staring at me while I explain that I've got...something...with Alec.  
  
"What? You've got what with Alec? Are you...dating?" he asks, trying to stay calm. Yeah, I guess we are.  
  
"Yeah," I say, looking over at Alec again. "We're dating." Alec gives me a little smile. I give him one back.  
  
We stay at Logan's only long enough to inject the cure and be sure that it works. Then we leave before the tension in that room makes our heads explode. I'm sorry Logan's hurt. I'm sorry this is going to make a friendship with him difficult. But I'm not sorry about the way this has all played out. Alec climbs on my motorcycle behind me and works his hand up under my shirt. Presses his palm flat against my bare stomach and I know he knows what he does to me. I smile and rev the engine. One choice. One man. One future.  
  
1.  
  
Blastoff.  
  
  
End.  
  
A/N: Whew! I survived another Max POV (and a pretty long one, too! Well, long for me, anyway). Well? What do you think? 


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